It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
