i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
