so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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