Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My breasts were aching with rage.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
