I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
