Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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