yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
