I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
What drink are we having for lunch?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
