Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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