Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
