I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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