i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
