You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
