I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
