Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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