i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
