Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
