Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize