the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think my vagina is haunted
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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