You smell like stripper and shame
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize