My liver just broke up with me...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
