U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
