At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm at about main and main street
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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