btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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