I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
