I heard we made out
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
