i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
