She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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