threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
