did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
