just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
