She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
