my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i dont even know how to be here
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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