If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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