He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
