found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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