At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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