I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Pants are for mortals
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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