I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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