I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
