It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
