Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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