Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize