I don't think brook has ever known best
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
