so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
