Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
