i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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