Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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