I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
