We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I have post one night stand depression
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