i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
