I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVEâ€
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
