This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize