so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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