Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
