I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
