office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
