She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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