Umm I'm too high to move.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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