she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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