**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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