yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
