thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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