What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Randomize
