haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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