69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
