Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
