Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
