I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize