your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
