guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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