i permit you to call me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
