How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I will die if light touches me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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