I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize