Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
