thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
