Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
