I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
