I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
