I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
