Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
