If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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