Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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