What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
