ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
