ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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