If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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