NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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