so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
