My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
